Argentines
Here are some of my observations about the people of Argentina. I love Argentina and miss the lovable quirks of its citizens. Of course, these are just for fun and are not completely generalizable. : ) Let me know if you have something to add..
1) They will constantly surprise you with their energy. Studies are in progress to find out if and when Argentines actually sleep.
2) They are always late, without exception, and are truly puzzled if you hint that you are slightly annoyed by their lateness.
3) Friend groups are some of the strongest in the world. They tend to stay the same from primary or secondary school until adulthood. Argentines are some of the most loyal and dedicated friends.
4) They love making lines, for everything. They make lines to have the privilege of getting into the real line (actually). I once saw a guy with a portable TV at Disco (a grocery store). Just chillinnn.
5) In said line they will stand as close to you as possible because obviously that will get them to the front faster.
6) They love order and assigned seats. Even movie theaters have assigned seats.
7) If you take a city bus past 11pm on a weekend, it will be filled with 15-17 year olds chugging cheap vodka and blasting the most annoying cumbia remix in the world on their cool smartphone.
8) They treat anyone pregnant like royalty. Don’t bother counting the number of times a skinny woman with no bump passes you in the grocery store line or asks for a seat on the bus because she’s “embarazada”.
9) They love complimenting food. All the time, no matter how it tastes. Every single food, even if it is the blandest dish to ever hit your taste buds, will be raved about as “tan rico”.
10) They have no problem littering or letting their dogs do their business on the streets without picking it up. This has made the Argentines experts at dodging sidewalk bullets; studies show they have the best peripheral vision in the world.
11) If you are American, don’t refer to yourself as “American” or you will inevitably get provoked into a huge fight by some Argentine who also considers themselves to be ‘American’ (Even though Brasil calls themselves Brasil when they are in fact the United States of Brasil, and Mexico the United States of Mexico, etc etc…). We are all yanquis down here, especially insulting to those of us from south of the Mason-Dixon line… or worse ‘norteamericanos’ which doesn’t even distinguish us from Canada or Mexico, hello geography 101!? A warning, if you enter this fight you will never change a single opinion.
12) They are very cognizant of who owes whom money and exactly how much, down to the last peso (could be because the peso used to be worth a lot more and it’s a habit).
13) They will constantly mention the superiority of Fernet Branca over 1882.
14) They will constantly mention the superiority of Fernet over any other liquid. (+20 points if you are foreign and enjoy this liquor. -40 points if you drink it with Diet instead of regular Coke).
15) They will complain about the cold when it gets below 65 degrees; fur jackets will be donned by 96% of female Recoleta residents over the age of 55 when the temperature drops below this threshold.
16) If you are American (see observation #10), you will constantly disappoint Argentines if you are not from Miami or Nueva York. But you will get a “que lindo!” and blank stare when you say you are from somewhere else.
17) Going to a psychologist is not taboo. Rather, it is chic. And don’t act surprised when an Argentine begins to talk about his or her latest therapy sessions… in fact, you’re weird and repressed if you DON’T go.
18) They love the U.S. (aka Miami) for buying shit like cheap iPhones and clothes from Forever 21 but definitely view the States as Europe’s bastard child. The really classy people travel to the Old Continent.
19) Argentine women take a lot of pride in how they look. They are thin and beautiful and frequently go to get their hair and nails done.
20) Argentine women also love being on top of the latest fashion trends, so much so that it often clouds their vision and no one realizes how silly they all look, a la “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. Case in point, one day these shoes just appeared ubiquitously on the streets on 78% of females under age 35.
21) They love to party, and it starts late. Don’t think about arriving before 2am. You are an ‘abuelo/a’ (grandparent) if you go home before 6am on a weekend night (see observation number 7)
22) They love celebration in all its incarnations. They throw eggs at each other during graduation and have the most fun weddings on earth.
23) They love to celebrate each other’s successes.
24) They don’t tolerate really drunk people. Send those vomiting Americans back where they came from and leave the real drinking to those who can handle it. Argentines are all about partying with composure and class.
25) They are more than content with a surprisingly unvaried diet.
26) They are hesitant to leave any sort of electronic trail. They prefer to keep cash rather than a bank account and always prefer to order food by phone than online.
27) Delivery EVERYTHING is where it’s at.
28) They think speaking English with no accent is not cool and also could be considered pretentious (for native Argentines).
29) They love to use accented English words in unconventional ways (for instance, instead of calling a mall a mall, they call it a ‘shopping’)
30) They love to complain about the prices of taxis but seem to be resignedly content with the absurd clothing and appliance prices.
31) They love getting paid in US dollars.
32) Argentine men are extremely forward and always want to know a reason why if you decide to reject an advance.
33) They love their dogs. Argentine perros are the most well-behaved, immaculately-groomed canines on the planet.
34) They have absolutely NO hesitations with throwing away bottles, cans, plastic, newspapers, and any other recyclable product in the trash can. Shudder….
35) Boca or River = life.
36) They do not embrace the concept of buying in bulk and love to fill up their grocery carts with 200 individual yogurt cups and somehow always manage to get ahead of you in the check-out line.
37) There is no such thing as an asado (bbq with friends and/or family) lasting too long. These affairs can last the whole day and into the night.
38) They are obsessed with getting receipts for everything.
39) They are extremely impatient while driving a car. For instance, all the drivers start to honk if there is a delay in paying at a toll-booth, in hopes that the toll operators raise the bars to let the cars pass without paying.
40) Pedestrians are the scum of the Earth. All Argentines obey the hierarchy of auto before man. There is no such thing as a pedestrian right-of-way.
41) A “tranqui” (calm) night would be getting to sleep before 5am.
42) Blackberrys are still awesome, no matter what anyone says.
43) They call each other things like “huge balls” (boludo) as a term of affection.
